Several years ago I found out that I was not really in charge of everything, or in control of very much. This lead me to
Don’s Dismal Dilemma: How will I achieve my goals, when I’m not in charge or control?
Physical systems follow patterns established eons ago. Friends do what suit them. My clients determine when and where I’ll work with them.
As time progressed, I found the one thing in the universe I have complete control over: me. This lead me to
Don’s Delightful Discovery: I can’t control what happens to me, but I can control me, and how I respond to what happens to me.
As Virginia Satir said, “We can direct our efforts to change what we can and to work out creative ways to live with what we can’t change.” [New Peoplemaking, pg 7]
When we quit changing with our environment, we face extinction. We need to update our mental models so they conform current with reality. As we grow and mature, our realities change. Our mental models need to reflect the changes. Mental models formed in childhood and not updated make for interesting adult behavior. Dad warned me about getting “Hardening of the Attitudes”. (Notice the survival rule that affects my change quotient?)
Changing allows me to achieve my goals. If the goal doesn’t change, and external events (by definition beyond my control) change the situation, I need to change my actions (I control these) to bring the results in line with achieving my goal. Or perhaps my actions aren’t producing the results needed to achieve the goal. Again change becomes necessary to realign with my goal. If I don’t change what I’m doing, my actions will take me away from my goal.
“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein
Occasionally I need to change my goals. As I learn more, what used to be important may not be important now. Changing goals allows me to work on what’s important to me.