He called recently wondering why the software we’d developed quit working, and now wouldn’t compile. We spent a half hour discussing this line, that line, adding lines, commenting lines, and getting no where. Since my code compiled, I finally suggested he send me HIS copy of the code. The problem turned out to be a cross communication involving 4 lines of code (located in two different modules).

Somehow, for some reason, as we looked at the code, neither of us put the descriptions of what we saw together with the results Albert described. It wasn’t until I had his code that I found the difficulty. And why was that?

We were congruently communicating. We both wanted the same goal, but the longer we talked about the problem, the more frustrating it became. The Satir Interaction Model wasn’t helping. It turned out that the problem didn’t exist at the language level. It existed in the process of GETTING TO the language level.

Yet Another Model (YAM)

Here’s a model that shows one way of getting from the REAL WORLD, to the language level. I lifted this from Maps, Models, and the Structure of Reality.

Modeling Levels

Like all models, this model deletes, generalizes, and distorts information. I’ll probably blog more about this someday.

The real question we need to consider is: “Does this model provide a useful map of the territory?” To me it does. It shows (some of the) transforms we make between the “World Out There”, finally ending in language. Just so you’re not surprised, each logical level involves its own model, and moving from one logical level to the next one or more processes.

When we add the bi-directional (simplified) Satir Interaction Model, we get a more complete understanding of the problem Albert and I experienced.

Communicaton Model

In our case, the World At Large differed. When moving from his World At Large, Albert deleted information (and we all do). Even though I tried, I couldn’t “language” down his modeling path to understand his World At Large. Once I could see his World At Large, finding the compile problem became much easier. Our worlds were the same.

So the next time you’re talking with someone, and you see the conversation isn’t working, remember:

Even though you’re talking the same language, how you got to the language makes the meaning of the language.

“This system must have 99.9% availability.” Says who? “We’re in financial trouble, and there’s going to be a lay-off.” Says who? “Management won’t let us purchase the new tool like they said we could.” Says who? Any statement that doesn’t include “Who Said”, needs to have “Says who?” as a response.

This question identifies actor information lost in translation. Knowing who said something allows us to pursue gathering more information about the statement. Until we have this information, we’re dealing with hearsay, rumor, and gossip.

Do be careful using this question. If you say it with malice, it  can become a Career Limiting Move. If you maintain congruence, you can learn a lot of information.

Self

The normal and healthy position of seeing, hearing, and feeling from out of self. This position is needed in order to speak with authenticity, to present yourself, your thoughts, feelings and responses congruently, to disclose, listen, inquire and be present with another.

When Stuck here: Selfish, sociopath perspective.

Other

To understand, feel with, experience empathy for and see things from another’s view point. Here you’ll feel in accord with the other and have a strong sense of his or her perceptive.

When stuck here: co-dependent.

Meta

To step back, gain a sense of distance, observe, witness, feel neutral, and appreciated both positions fully.

When stuck here: cold, over-rational, “computer” mode.

System

To understand the contexts (cultural, linguistic, business, family, etc.) that influence all of the larger systems and contexts of our world.

When stuck here: “Company Man”

Universality

This speaks to viewing from the individual’s position of highest power. For the religious minded, it is to be present with God viewing the situation from His position.

When stuck here: “So heavenly minded you are no earthly good.”

Truth in Blogging

These definitions are from the Meta-NLP training manual, page 80. I appreciate Bobby Bodenhamer and Mike Davis for sharing this information with me.